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Sorry, My Brain Didn’t Show Up Today

Alright, y’all crazy stuff is in the works…

Including move number 8? in the last 2 years… Yup. 8.

6 months ago, I sat in this same spot. Took a similar photo. And I wrote a piece: Moving With Migraine. Feel free to glance back at it, as I’m sure all the same emotions and struggles that plagued me then, plague me now.

But today isn’t really about moving, its about the dumb things my brain has done while attempting to move.

Brain Fog.

Sometimes its as simple as not being able to remember an easy word. Stopping mid-sentence feeling completely insane because you can’t remember whatever it is you were trying to say… only to remember 15 minutes later that the correct word was “pen”…

Brain fog is frustrating to no end.

It tends to play well with my ability to jumble words as a migraine is setting in. Real fun when you can’t remember words and then start jumbling the ones your brain does recognize.

It’s like dyslexia for my mouth.

It kind of comes and goes. Most of the time I feel like I’m spaced out. Maybe I just can’t focus or remember what order I was trying to do things in.

So, to start this wonderful packing journey, I packed up my office stuff…

Starting with all my paper and notepads and sticky notes…

Now, you’re probably like yeah duh office stuff. What’s the big deal… Well. How do I make a list of what can’t get packed yet? How do I make a checklist of people I need to call such as insurance to get a new doctor, Spectrum to cancel service, family to let them know I’m leaving way sooner than anticipated… 

So, here I am. A week into packing and I have NO paper. I also refuse to go buy a notebook and the notes app on my phone actually isn’t a suitable substitute.

Which leaves me staring blank into the mess that is my kitchen not even knowing where to start.

Which leaves the “list” in my head…

Problem is, I didn’t remember to throw my brain in my lunchbox today so here I am, and I forgot to bring my brain with me today…

I was blessed to have Mikayla around to help pack my kitchen. She helped reinstate some sanity… like which items do I pull out to continue to use for the next week and which can get packed.

She packed my kitchen while I blanks stared at half filled boxes. Then blank stared at cabinets and food and literally couldn’t grasp the concept that oh hey, you have to eat for the next week, you can’t pack everything.

Then, I decided okay, I’ll go tackle the living room… only to spend 15 minutes looking at this 4″ x 5″ corner hole that needed to have something fill it.

And to top it all off, by the time we called it quits… my body was literally done for the day. I managed to over exert myself simply by staring at boxes in confusion. 

It kind of feels like I need to focus on one thing. (Having a list would help narrow this down) But even in my scatterbrained state, if I do find one thing to focus on, I probably will forget what it is… because brain fog.

Fingers crossed my migraines aren’t actually extremely early onset Alzheimer’s…

But if it is, maybe I won’t have to remember that my head is pounding?

A.

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