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Don’t Take It Personal

Let me start by saying, I have never encountered such a shallow group of people in my life…

But, let me also point out that it really isn’t your fault.

I mean, personally, I’m going to blame your shitty personality and your complete inability to communicate with someone in different circumstances than your own, on your extremely shitty taste in music.

So here’s the thing.

It’s the title of this blog. “My Life. My Migraine”

Here’s the thing, my migraine, is my life. I own that. I have fully accepted the who I am going to be, is 100% determined by how I choose to respond to this condition.

But here’s the thing everyone somehow forgets.

My migraine may be my life, but my life isn’t just my migraine. This isn’t some mutually exclusive relationship.

Yet, for the most part, that’s how its treated.

There seems to be nothing to talk about beyond this sickness. Beyond the pain or the struggles. Or the latest news from the doctor.

Sure, you can tell me how you relate. You can relay your personal struggles.

Its one thing to have common ground. So many of us do.

So many of us don’t. 

Don’t take it personal.

You can’t be offended if I’ve chosen not to rekindle our friendship or relationship.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m so fucking sick of talking about how sick I am. I really don’t want to continue to elaborate that after being forced to quit my job to focus on school, I decided I really couldn’t focus on school and didn’t want to focus on it. So I quit that too. Now I’m moving home, armed with a new prescription for the new migraine drug (YAY!) and I’ll start the long process of getting signed up for disability.

End of story. I’m moving home to focus on my health and figure out where to go from here.

Aside from shouting it to the whole world that I’m coming home, I haven’t actually reached out to a lot of people. To be quite frank, I don’t want to.

It’s been hard enough telling people here that I won’t have time to get together with them before I leave and that, no, I don’t want to grab dinner before I go.

Me moving home isn’t going to be endless days on the beach. It isn’t going to be parties where I reconnect with everyone. It certainly isn’t going to be filled with all the people I was once so close to.

It’s doctors appointments. And more doctors appointments. Its meeting new specialists. Its finding a new massage therapist. It’s a hell of a lot of naps.

So don’t take it personal.

If we can’t pick up where we left off, that’s okay.

I’m not in 7th grade and I don’t want to play the question game of “have you tried this?”

We choose who we surround ourselves with, and if I want to be surrounded by people who treat me like I’m normal, that shouldn’t be such a problem.

Because guess what? I have a lot to say about a lot of things, and trust me 90% of it doesn’t revolve around a disability or health issue.

I have interests. I had hobbies. I can enjoy life.

So, don’t take it personal when you only can talk about my illness, and I just don’t talk to you.

A.

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