I noticed today, while rolling over on my couch trying to find some sense of relief, that my bear looks exactly how I feel.
He’s hunched over and looks like he is very done with the day. Me too Mr. Bear. Me too.
Today started out so good. I had this little burst of energy that diminished by the time I had eaten breakfast and started on my reading homework… maybe I just never need to pick up another book.
And so I shifted back into my regular routine of rubbing essential oils on my face, getting my diffuser going, altering the lighting and reading what I could. Then the routine continued on to my decision to take some medication, realizing this migraine could get really bad really quick.
By the time I finished the one small errand I had for the day, I was completely nauseated, could barely see, and couldn’t stop shaking. You know, it is awfully hard to prepare lunch when you just want to throw up. Let alone eat the prepared lunch, knowing eating it will make me feel better, but knowing it just might not stay down.
So maybe that’s what my bear’s up to… maybe he’s getting sick.
Following my even more normal routine, I canceled my plans for the afternoon. I don’t think anyone will ever fully understand how painful it is to make plans, knowing good and well there’s a 95% chance, that those plans will be canceled. Especially since I canceled plans last time. Especially since I’ve already canceled future plans. Guess who got to cash in our their Bon Jovi ticket insurance because they aren’t going anymore? That’s right, y’all. It’s me.
Every thing in this world that made me normal or made me love life, has been canceled.
I canceled today on going out to this new coffee shop I heard of. I. Alex Tomlinson. Canceled on coffee.
I canceled a concert I desperately wanted to attend because I missed it last year.
I get to sell my Country USA tickets when they arrive in May too.
Not that I love finals or anything, but I’m sure I’ll have to cancel important meetings with group members for final projects, or cancel the final and reschedule since you know I’ve missed god knows how many exams already this semester.
I can probably already say that my hopes and aspirations for this summer, can be canceled. Who wouldn’t want to decide not to go see Def Leppard and Journey on the 4th of July?
I can cancel out the idea of trying to find a second job over the summer… I can barely consistently make it to the job I have.
So here’s to canceled plans and the interesting connection I seem to share with my bear today. Hopefully he perks up soon.